in a blog over the sea

2008-06-04T09:04:00.000-07:00

its really strange to be the only person up dating our blog,
you are comming tonight, it is strage to think.

im in class.
i hate people who want try to be cool.
i hate people who do things because there friends do.
i hate people who dont find the time for theire friends unless they need them.
i hate people who arent there but are needy.
i hate needy people, im needy but i hate it about myself.

i feel like so many people think that living is about being cool, and well liked and dont care to ever let themselves ammount to anything at all.

i really need some lens covers,
i really need some life

in closet

2008-06-03T09:11:00.000-07:00

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/sns-ap-japan-closet-woman,0,3514188.story

this scares me quite a bit,
some japanese women was living in this guys house for a year before he noticed.
im at school like always, nothing much to do. (i will end up updtating this more latter)

I am really lame, and I am the only one who updatesl

2008-06-02T08:36:00.000-07:00

I have been usng the Sixty one a lot to discover and listen to music at school, because it isnt blocked.

thease arcade fire remixs are cool i think.

2008-05-27T07:56:00.001-07:00

its tuesday, i said i wasnt going to keep this blog, but i managed to convince myself somehow that it was worth updating, its worth trying, it is, its worth it.

im in my senior experience class. my first period class. the class I have to really put effort in for the rest of the year. im working on my take home final project right now. Its easy but I just dont acctually have the time to do it. twenty questions, to three people, from diffrent time eras. Its minor. then i have to like, analyze what i felt. its dye the 6th or soemthing like that.

after this is over I will mossy my way over to the class next door, and print a bunch of pictures, my final for that class is a scavanger hunt. Im cheating, im using all of my old negatives.

after that, is my advisory class, i have finished the book im reading for english, so durring the class I will probably read magazines.

we are watching the movie, parenthood in senior experience, it makes me sad. ha im rather pathetc, babys being born makes me sad. ahaha

there is this and that, i will spend the rest of the day looking at digg. and then working.

josh can you answewr thease and email them back? its for class

2008-05-27T07:28:00.001-07:00

20 Questions

Religion and values
1. What religion were you most exposed to growing up and how did that impact you?
2. Would you consider yourself religions today? If so, what religion do you most identify
with and what do you believe?
3. What is the most important thing in the world to you why/explain?
4. Have your Values changed from your childhood to today? Why or why not?
5. If you could tell this generation one thing about values and morals what would it be?

Education and Work
1. When you were younger, what was a career goal you had for yourself? How does that
impact you today? Has it changed? Why or why not?
2. Describe your Ideal Job. (ideal working day, environment, co-workers, boss, etc., why?
3. Did you/do you plan to further your education after High School? Why?
4. Was High School something you think you will/have always look back on? Why or
why not?
5. Looking back on your life, what are you most proud of?

Family and Children
1. What are some of your ideas about raising children?
2. What are some things you think every family should talk about?
3. Did/does your family have a healthy and/ or close relationship? Why or Why not?
4. Do you think your family growing up has had an influence of your view of family now? How?
5. What is one thing you would do different (different from your parents) if raising kids (again)?

Dating and Marriage
1. What does Marriage mean to you?
2. What is something you think is necessary in a relationship for it to work out?
3. What do you look for in a partner?
4. If you could take your significant other on a date anywhere where would it be and why
5. Would you ever get married (again)? why or why not?

2008-05-26T21:08:00.001-07:00

http://useconomy.about.com/od/tradepolicy/p/NAFTA_History.htm

HERE YOU GO! AHHHH

2008-05-26T11:35:00.000-07:00

i decided today that i would rather have my own blog for the time being.
love

2008-05-26T03:24:00.001-07:00

im posting mostly because i have not posted in a really long time. also, because i have something to say.
the thing is; i know what's going on.

i have a very sound understanding of everything that is happening around me because i have come to realize recently that i have super powers. i have the ability to read minds and see through solid objects. with such powers, i will now be able to easily coast through what most people consider difficulties in life. i will no longer need to work for money, as i will be able to determine the thoughts of people and will attempt to make farfetched bets that win me large sums of money that will last years.

also, i love you amanda. with all of my heart.
i dont have a soul, though. i sold it for super powers.

good night world.

ENGRISH.

2008-05-25T13:19:00.000-07:00

i wonder what ever person i know (and used to know) is doing now and after they graduate.
i wonder now what on earth i am doing, what is up and what is down.
i have senior-itious,

im leaving for work in ten minuites.
i start taking this whole body cleanse.
it lasts for two weeks
its making me pee so myuch

2008-05-25T11:05:00.000-07:00

today is Sunday; i work from two o'clock to nine o'clock. I like the work because it is easy, i decided i will not look for a new job until after summer is over, so i know what my permanent schedule at the art institute will look like.
[im listening to thom york covering morrisey. can life be better then that?

tomorrow is Monday; there is no school monday, i will probably end up working again, i have an outline on NAFTA due and a final draft of my senior project reflection essay due tuesday, i will most likely b e finishing that up on monday morning.

next week/tuesday-thursday school at that awful place that i hate. everyone will be preparing for the prom that is on saturday that i will not be attending. I will probably cover myself in magazines and reading and drawing and school work. as to not remind myself that i will never really ever be a senior again, and i really ruined it formyself.
[have you heard Del tha Funkee Homosapiens remix of radioheads video tape?]

week of the 3rd monday, tuesday, wednesday, school like usual. the dead line for journalism is in there someplace, the photo assignment is due i believe, i dont know really. Thursday josh get here.
i graduate the week after

2008-05-23T14:13:00.000-07:00

im really irritated i didnt graduate with highland,
im sick lately, my head just aches and aches.

its friday.

im cold

i miss my friends

2008-05-21T19:38:00.000-07:00

My parents are at dinner.
i got home from work early
and every one is gone,

She looks like the real thing
She tastes like the real thing
My fake plastic love
But I can't help the feeling
I could blow through the ceiling
If I just turn and run

It wears me out, it wears me out
It wears me out, it wears me out

handshake of carbon monoxide

2008-05-21T08:43:00.001-07:00

A heart that's full up like a landfill,
a job that slowly kills you,
bruises that won't heal
You look so tired, happy,
bring down the government,
they don't, they don't speak for her
I'll take the quiet life, a handshake of carbon monoxide

No alarms and no surprises, no alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises
Silent, silent
This is my final fit, my final bellyache with
No alarms and no surprises, no alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises, please

Such a pretty house, such a pretty garden
No alarms and no surprises, no alarms and no surprises
No alarms and no surprises, please

2008-05-19T08:31:00.000-07:00

Its not quite as bad waking up when the sun is already out. The sun is better lately, brighter longer, and earlier. its nice.
Im sitting here refreshing my email over and over trying to wait for a reply from Howard Johnson, my admissions adviosr. Im asking him if insted of starting in the summer if i can start in the fall. only having about two weeks off is not enough, also, i need to get a shit load of money together. The O on this computer is broken. Its hard to type, i use so many O's.
Im trying to come up with meaningful questions to ask someone my age, an adult and a "senior". Its for my senior experience class its our final project.

assembly

2008-05-16T08:27:00.000-07:00

just as with josh, it has been ages since I have updated in this blog. it doenst really matter. there isnt many who read this for me that dont already know whats going on, but this is it. the strech.

I got my cap and gown in the mail yesterday, my mom had me try it on, and it didnt feel as nice as i would have always imagened. I suppose that kind of thing happenes with everything, childhood i spent all this time so scared and worried about this year in my life, and i havent even really had a chance to think about it.

I have been a senior since september.
I have been dating a boy who lives miles away since september.
I moved here in june,

i still dont feel like i live here, maybe Im just adaptable, nothing matters, im a constatly moving soul, the earth is my home, the sky is where I vacation.

I guess this is it. its a spirt day again here at lynnwood High. We are something like the most spirited school, its weird being one of the only people not dected with black and gold. I feel isolated from my peers each day, today more so. always. there are only 240 seniors, and i still dont recognize many of them.

we did this assignment today in senior experience class, where we each went around and wrote down something nice about every person annonmusly. when i got mine back most peoples statements started with "I dont know you, but.." one girl, said she had always ment to get to know me better but was imtimadated. several people just said i was creative and talented. several girls said they liked my photogaphy. a lot of people complmented my style, and my hair. haha. the assignment was supposed to be things that we could look back on in college when we are stressed out.

there are 1,681 full time students at the art instuite. im worried that even then, i wont be able to find people i get along with. this is a big concern of mine. i dont care if it seems superficail.

today the weather is beautiful.
i have to go to the bank after school,
im going to buy a gold fish probably for hermes.
and clean my room.

spirit day, assembly.

2008-05-15T20:20:00.001-07:00

I have not written on the blog in a very long time, but that just makes it easier to spill out everything that's going on, because I feel that if I had any internet readers other than Amanda, they must be on edge by now not knowing of my day to day life. Anyway, here is a detailed description of everything I am verb-ing lately;

Today is the 15th of May
This means:
There are 6 days of school left. Or, Four more periods of sociology. Three more periods of sculpture and a combined six more periods of directed studies.
There is one more Subway paycheck left.
There is 6 actual days until I ship my belongings.
There are two weeks until my graduation day.
There are 20 days until I fly off to Seattle.
20 more days until I am with Amanda.
19 Weeks until I start college.

Today, in sculpture, Tyler Hoene taught me some gypsie jazz. It resparked my interest in Django and now Im trying to learn some. It's extremely difficult. My fingers don't want to move like that. That guy is crazy.

I got a box for my computer. I need boxes for my guitars still. Ah. I need to call Bounty Music and ask about that.

I should not spread my blogging abilities so thin. I will just start to write a little more every time I have the chance. The reason I always forget to write is because when I go to blogger, it signs me into the wrong account for some reason and then I get sidetracked.

Oh, also, Eli and I have been laying some things down. The name is Whitetree. And the sound is sort of early post rock, flat, mix-starved demos. http://myspace.com/whitetreehiss

josh.

last month

2008-05-02T08:14:00.000-07:00

Coachella 2008

2008-05-01T16:47:00.000-07:00

Artsy.

Shady

Austin TV

Porter

Man Man

Rilo Kiley

roger waters

Metric

Porter

2008-05-01T11:46:00.000-07:00

fndsjfn.dsalfkdsa, im over school

2008-04-30T11:31:00.001-07:00

Coachella

It is defiantly safe to say that this years Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival was the best. With Roger Waters of Pink Floyd headlining and closing out Sunday night, the festival had a hippie feel rather then a usual hipster vibe.
While acts such as rap duo The Cool Kids and trip hop heroes Portishead played, it was still evident what we were there to see. The legendary front man of Pink Floyd perform his oh so hip album Dark Side of The Moon.
The show began with a massive screen over taking the Coachella Main Stage. On the screen was what appeared to be a radio and a giant hand of a teenager in a very 70’s esq. bedroom. The hand periodically ‘changed the station’ and the music we heard from the speakers. This literally drove the crowd absolutely mad.
When his set finally started the crowd ate it up. It was hard to imagine anyone at the festival choosing to pass it up.
Madness ensued when Mr. Waters began playing Pigs from the 1977 Pink Floyd album “Animals”. A giant inflated pig covered in graffiti took over the sky. Fans screamed as the pig moved about the crowed.
Political slogans suck as “Don’t be led to the slaughter” and “Obama” were spray painted on the pigs body.
Planes circled overhead closely and dropped tiny pieces of paper that read “Vote Obama” on them over the top of us. Loud speakers surrounded the crowd and confused us with sounds of sinister laughing, cash registers closing, and crying coming from each direction.
The second half of the set was the entier "Dark Side of the Moon" album. A laser light show insued and the moniter flashed some of the most frightining images. The feeling of unity and crazy rock music was over powering. Thousands of fans ranging from three to 80, stood jaw dropped, shocked at all they were witnessing. A young girl next to me lit a dolar bill on fire and held it up whille singing along with the words of the song "money". None of us thought it could get any crazier.
Roger waters closed out his set by singing "Another Brick in the Wall" and "Comforatably Numb". Imagen for a moment some 60,000 people screaming at once "We dont need no education". It was one of the most intense moments in my Coachellla history.
Other Notable Artists This year: Austin TV, Porter, The Teenagers, Man Man, Devotchka, Rilo Kiley, the Shout out Louds, and Stars

2008-04-30T07:27:00.000-07:00

yesterday megan asked me how i do it.
how do i stay away from josh so long?

jerico is leaving for utah for four - five months,
and i have no advice for her.
its the hardest thing in the world.
but its worth it

2008-04-22T08:28:00.000-07:00

set time leaked.
and no one is even awake yet.

(im so cool damn it)

2008-04-21T08:51:00.000-07:00

"The camera makes you forget you're there. It's not like you are hiding but you forget, you are just looking so much. "

"When I say I want to photograph someone, what it really means is that I'd like to know them. Anyone I know I photograph. "

Reading quotes from Annie Lebovitz on photography, listining to Justice, drinking coffee, constantly refreshing the coachella website, thinking photography(always). researching class options at the Art Instiuite (buissness classes are avalible there thank you jesus.) editng maui pictures compleatly and totally in love with a fool that lives an ocean away and still manages to have dates with me and be romantic.

how i wish someone at this damned school would just ask me what im up to.

im so cool damn it,

today

2008-04-21T01:32:00.000-07:00

i just got home from work.
well, a bit ago.
i think i needed to take this opportunity to tell you i love you, amanda.
you didn't answer, and i don't want to wake you.

goodnight.

103

2008-04-18T10:27:00.000-07:00

102

2008-04-17T11:57:00.000-07:00

" a pictures worth a thousand words, or in this case a fifteen minute speech"

black and white or color?

"I have noticed durring this project that my photography usually consists of a lot negative space"

post # 101

2008-04-17T11:22:00.000-07:00

things im going to say about photography durring

my fifteen minuite speech i have to give

on April 28th and then again on May 9th:

"i have already seen how many oppurtunities a Photographer is given. I have been able to talk to people about being an artist and have them not only suggest amazing places to take photographs but take me their as well, and show me things that they find beautiful."

"durring this project my confidence as a photographer has just boomed. Telling people that my project is on photography led them to ask if they could see my portfolio or a few examples of my work, the feed back and suggestions I recived was amazing. So many people thought what I was doing was fantastic, and I really hadnt expected people to even like it."

mmmm

2008-04-16T10:43:00.000-07:00

i like chromeo.

2008-04-15T12:31:00.000-07:00

http://www.coachella.com/media/

2008-04-15T11:26:00.000-07:00

Music has always found a way to inspire me in every aspect of my life. Whether its my style of writing, my state of mind, or my photography, the music I am listing to helps persuade what comes out. All of my life I have been exposed to different types of music and different kinds of people. I was raised in a very accepting environment and I believe that that has also played a huge roll in who I am today and what comes out of me.

I discovered my passion for photography while taking a black and white photo class as a sophomore in Arizona. My instructor, Robert Guignard, always found a way to incorporate music with our art. We were always sharing music as a class, and listening to different bands he had found during his travels. It was when Mr. Guignard gave us an image recreation project that I realized how much my photography was inspired by music other artists had made. The assignment allowed us to recreate music as a photograph. I’d chosen to recreate Bob Dylan’s 1963 album “Freewheelin’”.

I moved to Washington right before my senior year of high school. This decision was all my own, I convinced my parents that I needed the environment to grow. Moving around a lot and starting over is something that can always be found difficult. Having similar tastes in music can be a great way to meet new people. Since moving to Washington I have begun to write for my high school newspaper. I took journalism for the first time as a senior. I am reviewing shows and artists to students at my high school. While my first love is photography, my second and third are music and writing. Being able to write for the paper allows me to share what I love with other students I hope one day to do the same with my photography.

This scholarship could help me so much while I am attending The Art Institute of Seattle and have been juggling around the idea of how my life will be affected. Going to and paying for school will force me to cut out things like going to shows and buying CDs. While working and attending school full time, having a chance to discover new music will be hard. Music is what Inspires my life and art. I am worried of how much that will be affected.

To say I am solely inspired by one artist or band is absolutely absurd. My taste in everything changes from day-to0day, and my art shows that. The photographer who’s work I am probably most influenced by is Nan Goldin. The tone and mood of her photographs can be compared with mine. Nan Goldin has always said music is what drives her. She has Nick Cave lyrics accompanying her images in many of her published books. As far as musicians go, I find inspiration most in the band, The Arcade Fire. I began listening to them around the same time as when my art started getting most serious, and like photography my love for The Arcade Fire came almost accidental. I happened to stumble across their set in the hot California sun during a music festival in the Indio Valley desert. The energy The Arcade Fire possesses and their TONE can be seen on and off though out my portfolio.

Music has and always will inspire me. I continue to make different CDs and Play lists depending on the task at hand. I hope I will continue to be privileged to discover, have, and share music though out my time at The Art Institute.

GIVE ME MONEY

2008-04-14T07:57:00.000-07:00

I just dont have much to say anymore. Im making a website to sell my prints. money

2008-04-10T10:30:00.000-07:00

okay. on the sidebar, under the list of events, click on Amanda spring break maui 08. that's where the pictures are. i linked that Casiotone thing too.

spring spring.

2008-04-10T00:16:00.000-07:00

i know you are going to read this and wonder why i didn't send them to you, amanda.

it's because i am putting them on a website. it's easier and you will get them faster. but i won't be able to do that until sometime at school tomorrow. which might be after you read this. anyway. in time. i love you.

2008-04-10T00:15:00.001-07:00

people ask the most ridiculous questions.
and get angry at the most ridiculous things.

oh closet, if only you knew how much i want you to be empty.

i want the next six weeks save coachella to vanish.

baby, i miss you.

i work and work and work over the next couple days. which is good. i need the hours. but for some reason i have sunday and monday off. i don't want that!

i am going to start posting mp3s on here and talking about music. for now, i will just let you know what i have been listening to in every post. and post more frequently. KEXP won't stop playing. which is good. also, cloud cult's advice from a happy hippo has been on repeat. lovely bobby.

goodnight. josh.

2008-04-07T22:05:00.000-07:00

why do the Canadians in south park look different then Americans?
I body is confused. its currently thinking that its seven o'clock
but my mind is tired and knows its latter.

i haev a constant feeling of needing to vomit.
i miss you/joshua so much,
it comes in waves...

its like my mind wont think straight.

i need chocolate.

joshuajoshuajoshuajoshua
where are you i just want to talk with you.
i like being near you

i need chocolate. god

i need routine,
i need school work coachella

you you

2008-04-04T20:43:00.001-07:00

josh's mom is the mongoose whisperer

its lovely here.

2008-04-02T20:24:00.000-07:00

summer 78

2008-03-30T03:12:00.000-07:00

The Pyramid Song.

I have worked too many hours this week but i think my paycheck will be worth it.
Amanda is coming on Sunday and that will be very very good.
I have only experienced the sunrise on the top of Haleakala three times in my life. One of the times, I was on mushrooms and extremely confused. The most recent time was fantastic. The cold and the light bouncing out from places I wouldn't have guessed.
It's like mars up there. It's just fucking amazing. I want to show Amanda.
I am also planning on taking everyone on some sort of dinner sunset cruise. It seems everything that goes on on this island is based on what the sun is doing. OH. When I say everyone, I mean my mom and dad and amanda.
When Amanda leaves on the sixth, I go back to hellacious work for a couple weeks. I will need money for Coachella related things. It will be fine, the work. I am used to it by now. Amazingly enough, I get paid four times before I leave for Coachella. That will give me enough pocket cash I hope.
I will have enough to pay Ian back whenever Mr. O'Connor picks up his smelly dog. Coachella is in like three weeks. Thats amazing. It's going to be good. Really good. And then what?
I come back, conjur up some lie about why I missed three days and then hold out until graduation.

I started writing this blog entry a couple days ago and I have had it open now with nothing to say. I didn't feel like it was finished.

I would like to take this textual opportunity to attempt to explain my intentions over the past several weeks.

And this is for you, Amanda.

Whoever else might be reading this might as well just know too. That's why I am writing it here. I know you will read it, Amanda.

I have spent the entire month of March and a few weeks previous so ridiculously busy. I have worked more hours in the past two months than I have probably in my entire Socially Secured life combined.

I worked because I needed to figure everything out. I worked in school. I worked on college applications. I worked at Subway. I did Yard Work. I did computer work. I worked for PCRealty. I worked for my parents when I could. I did absolutely everything I could to get things in motion and pay for the things I had created the responsibility to pay for in a fair amount of time.

I am happy to say I have accomplished nearly every goal I had. I was accepted to Seattle University yesterday. I finally have a decent recording setup. I am passing school with flying colors. I paid for your ticket, Amanda. I paid for the Coachella ticket and ridiculously overpriced airfare to Phoenix.

For reasons too vague for me to understand, I lost the level of communication that I need with you. I took it for granted. I am not ashamed of the level of my priorities over the past couple weeks. And I do not regret anything I have done, because I can't imagine a time better than the now. Always. But I miss you. A lot.

I need to feel close to you like I used to. I want us to be able to help eachother through the few days we have left apart. Because I know things will start to fall into place the sooner it gets until we graduate. I know you are afraid of growing up, baby. But I want us to grow up together. We can get through all the scary stuff if we stay close.

I miss you. I love you. I can't wait to see you.

.remember?

2008-03-30T03:08:00.000-07:00

Lust For Life

2008-03-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

I feel myself growing up some days. (like today). its the way people talk to me, and about me whille im listing. It because I go to bed at the same time every single night, regaurdless of my irritation. it's because i know the phrase "life is 10 precent what happens to you and 90 precent what you make of it." I make it what i want it to be, I work two jobs, i take pictures, i apply for scholorships, i write essays, i drink coffee, i like to be with other people. i know im different because i want people to like me, i like people.

"whille many her age can only see their immediate surroundings, Amanda is wise beyound her years. She is one of the few students who can see the big picture." reading letters of recomndations that other teachers write about me make me want to cry. The list traits that i should have. or that they think i have. I like everything they have to say about my photoraphy, and my creativeness, and my passion.

IT snowed this morning, i like the crisp air when it snows. I love that this is the last day of school before spring break and it snowed and im happy. I wore a red hat and a pea coat. I love the cold.
I work today, at the fruit stand wich i love so much. I love surrounding myself with asparagas and artic necterines. I ate a kumkat for the first time yesterday. Aaron came to my register and asked if I'd ever had one before I said no so he handed me one and said "you have to try it" i love that i get that chance to have new and different fruits and vegetables. I think im going to take home a yam today. I just adore yams.

Tomorrow I work at bed bath and beyond, which i also love for some reason. I like the idea of warm towels, I like the couples that are shopping for their new houses, and the brides that are registring for their weddnings, and their new lives together.

Sunday im off for the sunny world of maui. Im so nervouse to fly. I hate hate hate the idea of being trapped in a large plane with tons of other people in an inexcapable place. I fear i will get stuck next to a really really fat person who wont let me escape. Im bringing motion sickness pills and sleep aids. books and books and homework ahh.

and then their is coachella like a few weeks after i get back goodness!. im so so so excited. I got and email from the coachella website today saying Carpoolchella is on and that coachella is approching. I think that i finally have enough of my ducks in a row to be excited. I am nearly finished with my senior project and im so excited about everything my life has to offer. um um um. My scholorship, i turned one in yesterday for half of the art insiutute tuituion. Im very excited. I think i have a really really good chance.

Things To do:
"How to Save the World"- Due Tuesday
Journalism Portfolio - Due Tuesday
Story Ideas for next month - Due Tuesday

Economic Terms - Due Monday

Attend Photo exhibit
Sub Pop Scholorship Essay
oi oi oi oi

2008-03-26T17:01:00.000-07:00

i just want to live on the beach with three jack russle terriers.

2008-03-24T08:05:00.000-07:00

i drink coffee everymorning.
i wear makeup everymorning.
i try to look presentable, i try to get things done.
i make plans, and laugh.
i go to school and do things other then they assigned work, because i have already finshed it.
i wish i was different.

i feel really left out and really different.
i dont belong here really.

i made a fake resume today for my senior experience class.
I am applying for a job at rolling stone magazine to be annie leobovitz's assitant.
(she doesnt even work there anymore)
i wish i had a better camerai wish i had a chance,

2008-03-23T21:40:00.001-07:00

the joy of relaxed envy.
sits at the top of chaotic glee.

when both want to go out
i can't quite see.

2008-03-20T09:05:00.000-07:00

i feel really weird. eli and i worked on the movie a whole lot yesterday. I miss sharing music with him. or rather i miss him sharing music with me. he showed me bed head yesterday, i like them a lot. The movie is comming along really nicely. im really happy with it. eli is great at seeing how the shooting should be, i hope the two of us continue making short films.

i realized yesterday, that i have been having a problem with growing up. (in that i dont want to do it). Eli made the point of moving in all together, the four of us, and ultimatly megan too. (so five really) it sounds like a good way to start my adult life i think. I dont know, i am really frightened by the idea of loosing my best friend, my mom. so its scary.i want to do it though, if josh is okay with it. I think the four of us living together would be fun. I dont know, i was looking at some of the places eli had been looking at and it seems like a good idea. I dont know i dont know. its josh's decision. If he thinks its a good idea i will do it.

my tummy hurts with the thought of this. oi oi oi.! we are working on the movie again today. Its really lovely. I get paid tomorrow. i start job two next week, and then next sunday im away to maui!.im lost, really lost, what am i doing.

today is a thursday, then friday, then work work. im close to finished with my senior project portfolio #1.

i just want to be good.

2008-03-18T12:01:00.001-07:00

01. Still Life - Black and white02. Still Life - Color

03. Still Life - Black and white

04.Still Life Color

05. a little preview of the movie eli and i are making.
im sure when its finished it will get Youtube coverage.

i stayed home to day

2008-03-18T10:52:00.000-07:00

last night i had a nightmare that this man was chasing me.
he was staying in the same hotel as me, and some disaster happened.
i lost my key, he was chasing me, i kept running.
i ran to a car and he started chasing me his car.

i was terified. I ran and ran and i woke up, when i went back to bed
i was at dinner with a family i didnt know, they were really nice to me
but i was uncomfortable
it was a western themed and i kept looking though my purse for sunglasses,
i lost my things left and right.

i stayed home because my stomach hurt, and i didnt feel right about anything.
eli isnt comming over today a planed which is a total bummer.
I was looking forward to his company to keep my mind off of everything.

I should porbably stop reading Zodiac, and stop watching scary movies if i dont want to have nightmares.

today will consits of me taking still life photographs,
me eating rice and tuna
and me making my giant scarf

Im disappointed. all the way around. I want to move out on my own, and start a cup cake factory. I want to move out on my own and decorate my bathroom. I want to move out and buy towels and sheets. haha, bed bath and beyond does that.

I have two jobs now. I am going to work at country farms two days a week as well as bed bath and beyond i think. I dont know. why not.

2008-03-17T22:53:00.003-07:00

2008-03-17T22:53:00.001-07:00

i make promises i can't keep.
but when i think about things i can do, i imagine how long a minute is. and i try to use every minute for something.
most things seem insignificant but everything matters.
when i make promises, i think i can keep them. and i always do this making with the intention of having them kept.
and if i am not able to keep them, i make sure they pan out in the long run.
i do what i can do and i try to do it well.
if i had a credo, it would be simple and i would be able to fit it to a movie's shitty tagline.
i wish i could rid myself of cynicism.
it's the worst. the absolute worst.
cynicism, unncessesary vugarity and excessive sarcasm.
away with you.
i am going to try to be a better person.

2008-03-15T21:24:00.000-07:00

i want to see this movie,
i need to finish my film.
i need sleep.

i dont mind work, its okay.
i like the girls that work there they are nice and pass the weekends nice and fast.
i answer phones and work on my confidence.
my job shadow went nice...

thats it. thank you

2008-03-14T11:31:00.001-07:00

i had the strangest nightmare, involving a 6th grade love interest, a scary person that i punched in the nose, my old elementary school, and getting locked into bathrooms

2008-03-13T09:27:00.000-07:00

i dont even know you anymore.
i've been lost a while. no ones found me.

2008-03-12T12:30:00.000-07:00

http://www.woostercollective.com/2007/05/shit_were_diggin_max_tyries_hand_made_mo.html
this is a really cool stop action movie

Otherside

2008-03-12T12:03:00.000-07:00

I have a job shadow at a portrait studio in Lynnwood tomorrow from 2-6. I am really excited to get a feel of what that would really be like. I get to sit in on two photoshoots and ask her a million questions. I think if i like what they do there i'm going to ask if there are any job oppurtuinites as a resepsionest or assistant or something. I hate Bed Bath and Beyond, and if i could get a job involving photography even in the slightest my life would be much happier I think.

I am also working on a secound job shadow with this really really cool portrait photographer couple. They are really excited about my intrest and I think I've got this one in the bag as well. (http://boojazz.com/index2.html).

As far as everything else goes, I'm going to start my porject for a full ride scholorship today when I get home, im doing a stop action style movie of myself going through a normal day with photography attacking me at every trun. Im really excited about it, and I feel really really good about it. Joshua says he will help me wright a little song for it too, so that everything about the short film is all my own. Im so so excited.

Friday I have no school, and Eli is supposed to come over, I think im going to ask him to help me with the short movie. I dont know. Its going to be so out of order and slightly complicated. blah blah blah. Then saturday i work 12-8:30 abd Sunday 12-7. Easy peasy. I just have to slow down, and figure everything out. I hate my job, but its easy. The fruit stand opens up soon, im going to look at getting a secound job there durring the week. im excited for all the cherries and peaches.

As far as my stressful senior project goes, I have only a few more things to do:
Interview from Mr. G - Type/Print
Interview w/portrait photographer (im doing this tomorrow)
Job Shadow w/Portrait photographer (Im doing this tomorrow)
Essay On Portrait photographers
Attend an exhibit, and interview someone who works there (doing this in Maui)
Mentor Interview (minor)

i feel pretty good about everything right now, I really need to focus on scholorships, and steady living, and what have you. I need to clean my room and start my movie. Im feeling very artistic. I need some new and beautiful faces.

2008-03-10T11:22:00.000-07:00

i was attacked by a cat.
and im sick.
i no longer like cats.
i like dogs.
big stinky dogs
that eat little kity cats.

2008-03-06T23:33:00.001-08:00

i am posting this with a mac widget. which is sweet.
today was another seven hour shift and i still smell subway. but the money in my pocket everyday is probably worth it.
and also, i think the paypal transactions finally went through.
i got into an argument with an ignorant security guard at my school today. it was ridiculous. i would explain, but whoever might be reading this already knows the details (amanda :))
tomorrow is going to be the most full day in forever. i will wake up at seven something. i will go to school and present my made up school to the scoiology class. "the money"
then i will go to mr. oconnors and he will freak out for an hour telling me i should do this and that to my completed sculpture.
unless they moved them. they might have already moved them. anyway, i will go to work from about 12-6 and then ian will pick me up.
we will drive to the hui and i will wander around and see my sculpture as it is viewed by folks from various regions of the island.
then i will go do the cage of sound with Ian and Pete and Justin and maybe Bear. and then we will probably end up getting some beers and winding down. so i wont stop doing productive things for like 15 hours. wow.
i can't wait. actually. i should be asleep right now.
i have soulseek privelages !! YES!
i should cover when you wake up feeling old by Wilco.
tune in, kids.
i love you, amanda.

2008-03-06T14:35:00.000-08:00

i feel like i have absolutely no idea of where i am going.
it is awful. oh so very.
i ate a plane of cold canned beans with dressing.

natalie portmans charactor in the beginning of hotel chavalier is really irritating.
i want to shoot her.

p.s. i want a copy of every wes anderson movie.
i used to have rushmore but have lost it.
send send send

2008-03-06T11:45:00.000-08:00

2008-03-06T08:50:00.000-08:00

i left the little black ipod that is currently in my possession at home today. its devastating how much i have been trying to be inspired and it just keeps blowing up in my face. Hows a girl to be inspired when she cant listen to 90's pop music? honestly.

I wrote an article about coachella for the school paper, im basically in love with it. I also wrote a story on Kimya Dawson. And a list of movies, DVDs, and books about to come out. Im working on a "what to listen to during a long plane ride" play list for the paper and of course my own use! the paper is due out right before spring break, (here's a copy of the last issue --i write for arts and entertainment -http://www.edmonds.wednet.edu/lhs/publications/docs/Gazette/LHSGazette_2-2008.pdf)

Im considering writing a story on beach house. they kind of have a newish cd that i havent actually listened to. Or maybe xiu xiu because no one even knows about them.

Things to inspire me;
- Beach house
- Darjeeling Limited
- Nan Goldin (always)
- Andy Warhols Polaroids - I NEED a copy of that book

2008-03-05T07:29:00.001-08:00

i didnt get to talk to josh yesterday.
it killed mr.
my eyes hurt.
my body hurts.

happy 16th birthday michael marks.
little brother, little brother.

bil bill billll

2008-03-05T00:50:00.000-08:00

so, tonight i saw bill nye the science guy.
i miss you, amanda.

tomorrow i am going to finish my sculpture and finish
making a fake school
i work everyday until monday.
ill be dead by then

from exhaustion
.

i love you

2008-03-04T14:38:00.000-08:00

That saying that "blonde's have more fun" i think i agree with that.
for an assignment i was researching that stage in Warhols life where he took millions of Polaroids, i remembered how beautiful he and his friends were and how blonde edie was. I need to be blonde again. Im going to dye my hair soon.

I have been having a lack of inspiration lately. i just dont know what to do.

im hungry, im lonely and im bored.

an update of the crazy

2008-03-03T15:29:00.000-08:00

most of my days are spent planing what it is i need to bring with me to maui, wishing i was no longer in high school, or editing photographs and working on my senior project. I have gotten so much done and there are only a few things left, but i am still stressing about it for no reason.
i wrote a really nice story on coachella, i kind of wish i lived in the sun of arizona, i am doing alright in school (im doing great, i just dont really do anything at all).
I like my new job, its easy and its lovely.
i want to update this every day from now on.
love love.

http://baggubag.com

2008-03-02T15:55:00.001-08:00

our blog has died.
and it makes me want to cry

2008-02-28T07:26:00.001-08:00

today should be the last day of the month,
it is not

2008-02-27T19:06:00.001-08:00

the many mes

2008-02-27T18:23:00.000-08:00

2008-02-26T07:30:00.000-08:00

first real day of work today.
wish me luck

(i wish i had a cape like devenda. oi vey, buy me clothes)

2008-02-25T11:46:00.001-08:00

im in class at the moment. im at a loss of everything.
I feel like im loosing my mind, i feel like i have lost my drive.

http://www.kevinpcaseyphoto.com/
this man has agreed to let me do a job shadow with him.

http://www.wmanthony.com/
this man has gotten back to me and told me we can talk about photography any time, he didnt have any shoots this month, but im thinking maybe latter on i can perhaps convince him to let me work with him. I am hopping to creat an internet relationship with him, and interview him for my project.

i feel bad, everyone is into what they are doing, i feel like im scraping by. Im looking forward to a long plane ride full of fear to vist my joshua, im looking forward to large sunglasses and tanned sholders at the coachella festival. Im happy and excited but scared and i feel like everything is going too slow.

i got the job at bed bath and beyond, i dont know if i have said that, i dyed my hair orange and cut it all off, i got a hard drive, josh got my ticekts to maui, i need my ticets to arizona.

Stop breathin'
Stop breathin'
Breathin' for me now
Write it on a postcard
Dad, they broke me
Dad, they broke me

Fruit Punch

2008-02-23T20:02:00.000-08:00

Today is Saturday, the twenty-third of February, 2008.
I work tomorrow. For a rug salesman again.
I have accomplished nothing today. But that's fine.

My room is very hot and I don't like it that way.
I think it's because of how small it is. I opened the window.
It did not help all that much, but at least I'm not cooking anymore.

There are crumbs on a plate next to me. I had a sandwich earlier.
It was a chicken sandwich. It has swiss cheese.
There was too much mayonnaise.

I can record with ease now. It's so sad that I haven't posted in so long.
I feel like I've maybe flown further away from here.
I mean, I am still physically in the same spot. But I feel gone.

I did a show on Terry Riley's "In C" finally. It was too short.
Justin and Bear got jumped by some crack heads. I walked home in the dark.
It was really scary but I got home and it was fine.

I am yawning so much. It's only 6:07. That's too early for yawning.
I really like South Park. I also really like playing guitar.
I also really like music and I kind of like Snapple.

Actually, I don't like it all that much. But I like it more than Green tea right now.
You said I must eat so many lemons.
I yawned again.

My room is clean and I need to do the laundry. Maybe I should um. I need
a steady job or something.

This post is falling apart.

I love you, Amanda.

SUNDAY

2008-02-22T15:18:00.000-08:00

Justice - Phantom II

Metric - IOU

Metric - Monster Hospital

Shout out Louds - Please please please

Shout out louds - the comeback

Holy Fuck - Lovely Allen

Gogol Bordello - Start Wearing Purple

The Streets - Dry Your Eyes

Black Kids - I'm not going to teach you boyfriend how to dance

Murs - Yesterday & Today

Autolux - Turnstile Blues

Spiritualized - Anyway That You Want Me

Chromeo - Needy girl

The Field - good things end

LES SAVY FAV - Brace Yourself

cool kids - Black Mags

Man Man - 10 lb. Moustache

Im from Barcelona - We're from Barcelona

Manchester Orchestra - Wolves At Night

Austin TV - Tonight Tonight

Coachella

2008-02-22T15:12:00.000-08:00

I want to take so many pictures this year. now that my digital camera is acctually decent. Megan gave the call today saying that she has the money in order. the only thing i need to do it get my plane ticket. UGHTNKLAF. coachella coachella coachella. its something to look forward to honestly it only gets better every year. Im also so excited to see my megan its been FAR too long. (joshua this is basicly my blog now?! why havent you updated!!!?)

2008-02-17T18:51:00.000-08:00

i have the best boyfriend in the world, and i love my hair now.
everything is shaping up.
i hate that im not writing. any where. fdsalkfknmdlas
love love love love. you are who i am, i got two chairs for our desk today.
one for you and one for me,

LETS GO

2008-02-16T21:31:00.000-08:00

2008-02-13T20:29:00.000-08:00

today;
i got an official acceptance letter from the art institute of seattle
i chopped off all of my hair while listing to 'women as lovers,'
i think hermes is laying eggs, ?
i got the job at bed bath a beyond!

2008-02-12T22:14:00.000-08:00

http://www.suntimes.com/business/786011,CST-NWS-pol10.article
AHH stock up on polaroid film for me?!!?

my first period teacher's boyfriend ripped/broke his achilles tendon.
it makes me ill.

you live too far north.

2008-02-11T21:30:00.000-08:00

music to burn down a very tall building to.

aaron

2008-02-10T18:38:00.001-08:00

january's playlist

2008-02-08T23:57:00.001-08:00

one each month?

i dont know.

2008-02-08T22:34:00.001-08:00

i think i have everything all figured out. really. its refreshing.
im all on the right track. Kimya Dawson playing tomorrow, if
eli decides to blow me off or conveniently forget i will be so very
displeased. but i plan on going, three o'clock.

p.s.

2008-02-08T14:06:00.000-08:00

xiu xiu makes me crave what my life could be.
joshua i agree, i cant wait until life begins.

everyones a building burning with no one to put the fire out

2008-02-08T13:36:00.000-08:00

self, hair dyed,

my bed room; feb. 2008

Hermies, my perfect pet snail

john and yoko. Leibovitz

Patti smith, Leibovitz

listening to radiohead and modest mouse,
sleeping in and skipping school,
researching annie lewbovitz and working on my senior project,
got phone call from the art institute again, telling me of my acceptance.

i bleached a part of my hair.
i still have no job, or money.

covers, pictures, love

2008-02-07T08:46:00.000-08:00

grow up and blow away.

Saturday of Coachella

2008-02-06T14:28:00.001-08:00

Animal Collective - Peacebone
(stop being such idiots, this album is good.
people that bitch about it 'not being as good as the first one' are just trying to be interesting, and make it sound like they know what they are talking about. they dont. same thing goes with radiohead, thank you.)

Rilo Kiley - More Adventurous

Death Cab For Cutie - Title & Registration

Cold War Kids - We Used to Vacatoion

MGMT - Time To Pretend

Devotcka - I cried like a silly boy

Stephen Malkmus - Heaven is a Truck

St. Vincent - These days

Islands - Rough Gem

The Teenagers - Homecoming

Hot Chip - Over and Over

Calvin Harris - Acceptable in the 80's

The bird and the Bee - again and again

kraftwerk- autobahn

2008-02-06T11:49:00.000-08:00

i was studing some casiotone for the painfully alone articals to add a blrub to my story,
i found this, anf its cute. they call him lumpy!http://www.metroactive.com/papers/sfmetro/11.08.99/casiotone-9943.html

Take another picture with your click, click, click, click camera

2008-02-06T08:52:00.000-08:00

Nan Goldin is my favorite, and I think I am crazy for that.

I slept all the way through the night again last night. It has been really wonderful for me lately. Im feeling greatly, i am in love with the best boy in the world. Im doing a project on Nan Goldin and aside from being unemployeed and broke everything is going the right way, and I am less stressed about things. I am getting a long in my senior project, I got accepted into the Art Instiuite, Im on the right track, honestly for everything. I should be seeing the love of my life in fifty days, and I got my Coachella Tickets. What more could there be?

Wednesday ; mom is home. No plans, apply online at QFC, Albertsons, Hollywood Video, Sam goody (online)

Thursday; mom home again, help her move some shit, dad home too. Work on Senior Project, make play list for saturdays coachella. (work on current photo project)

Friday;work more on photo project, work on senior project, do all homework.

Saturday;Apply in Mill Creek, Finish Photo project, Kimya Dawson

im in love with the world. i feel clean and inspiered.

Friday of coachella, Kimya Dawson, ACCEPTED

2008-02-05T16:06:00.000-08:00

I GOT ACCEPTED INTO THE ART INSTITUTE
&&&&& IM GETTING MY COACHELLA TICKET WHEN MY DAD GETS HOME TONIGHT!!
TODAY = GOOD.

I'm going to see Kimya Dawson on Saturday (unless i'm called for an interview.)

my friday list!!! (bands i plan on seeing at coachella in order of importance)

Múm' - We Have a Map of the Piano

Stars - Your Ex Lover Is Dead

Vampire Weekend - Oxford Comma

Jens Lekman - You are the light

Architecture in Helsinki - Like a Call

Midnight Juggernauts - Road To Recovery

Rogue Wave - Lake Michigan

The National - Mistaken For Strangers

Dan Deacon - Crystal Cat

Cut Copy - Future

Swell Season - Falling Slowly

Does It Offend you Yeah? - Lets Make Out

Datarock - Fa Fa Fa

The Breeders - Cannonball

The Verve - Bitter Sweet Symphony

Porter - House Of A Ghost

dan le sac VS scroobius pip - Thou Shalt always Kill

Black Lips - Cold Hands

Modeselektor - Black Block

Reverend And The Makers - Heavyweight Champion of the World

Spank Rock - Bump

Busy P - Chop Suey

now.

2008-02-03T23:01:00.000-08:00

the headache comes and goes with stress i have discovered.
theres this and theres that.

payless
starbucks

im going apply there tomorrow i guess.
life is stupid, redundant, and meaningless to me now.,
im sick of everything im doing being part of a bigger picture.
why am i not happy now?

photos from my papas 66th birthday

2008-02-03T20:45:00.001-08:00

Dad, Aunt Brandy, Papa, Uncle Joe

josh moving in with me, relationship, mornings

2008-02-03T13:41:00.001-08:00

i wake up so late on the weekends; i sleep and sleep and wake up with the sun hitting me. i hug the pillow, i grip the sheets, i am alone.
i drink coffee, and have a morning snack. "what do i have to do today? what do i have to accomplish? what time is it in maui? how much longer until josh is awake.?"
i think having a boy friend that lives in a different state is awful for so many reasons, but at my young vuneralbe age i also think its nice. having josh around for a month and then being seperated a month and a half is good for us. it makes us evaluate our realtionship, have our independence, show eachother how we care for eachother in less then obvious ways. you cant hug and kiss somenoe over the phone or interent, you have to express things so much deeper.
i think the distance is good for both of our education. josh not going to the same highschool as me creates no drama. had josh been going to the same school as me, things would be harder, people would say this or that, and we'd both be distracted by eachother.
i have something to look forward too, and something to set goals around because hes not so close, we have to work on the realtionship now, so when hes living with me things will seem so much easier.
im happy josh and i are going to live with my parents for a couple of years. it gives us a chance to get used to eachother, it gives us a chance to not be so concerned with money, and bills.
i have been looking at furniture we will need to share in our bedroom (my parents have agreed to rent a house with an apartment if they can, if not josh and i are going to share one bedroom). we need a full sized matress (i only have a twin). a headboard, bookselves and a desk. Ikea has the perfect desk for us. two people can fit on it, facing eachother. :)
doing this is making me happy. im currently thinkig of things i dont really need anymore so that the room wont just be my things.

friday.

2008-02-02T21:11:00.001-08:00

sunshine, weekend.

2008-01-31T21:16:00.001-08:00

im still jobless, my mother came home with my favorite ice cream today. my dad has agreed to lend me the money for my ticket on February 5th. Its exciting to at least think that I have one of my many things under control. The semester is going to be very easy for me i think, my two new classes are real classes so i wont be so bored in school, i will actually see a point in attending. (I need to pass both of those classes to graduate, and I want to graduate with a 4.0 so im going to do everything in my power to keep my grades where they are).
Im getting closer with Ali and that really pleases me. We talk about things that girls should talk about and i have been craving that attention for so long. Its nice that i finally have it. We have made plans to see a movie together once i get my job situation under control. (she only works weekends so our hanging out will probably be perfect since my days off will mostly be during the week.)
I have been feeling creative lately. I have been feeling awful still, my head my emptiness but its shaping up. its getting better.
there are several things i want to get accomplished this weekend;
- Write a one page essay about the Art Institute of Seattle for my senior project.
- Write bibliography on Annie Lebowitz.
- Edit several photographs.
- HOPEFULLY get called for an interview, if not apply at more places. (theres a university book store in mill creek thats hiring, im going to apply tonight.!)
- clean the under my bed,
i dont know, i guess thats about it, its nothing to pressing but, i dont know, life is just shaping up i suppose.
Sunshine was a great movie, i watched it today. im in love.

hey thursday?

2008-01-31T20:39:00.000-08:00

today is thursday. it's the last day of january and the last full day of my brother's visit. these pictures were actually all taken on tuesday. at the house my mom is showing and the radioshow/metting with pete. i should publish my calender, that way i update it accurately.

i'll bet i could write good music if i had a nice guitar. i'll bet i could have a nice guitar if i had a lot of money. i'll bet i could make a lot of money if i had a good-paying job. i'll bet i could get a good paying job if i was born into a well known, well-off family. i'll bet i wouldn't want to make music as much if i was so well off.

i'll be home. i'll be home soon. oh no. oh no! This post is unstoppable. i think that seth kid might end up hanging out with us again sometime this weekend. hm. justin is going to a bluesman show tomorrow. bear works. i have a radioshow from something (6.7 or 8 to 9) watch: my head is going to explode. i hate feeling stuffed up. ugh. LOVE

no name #5

2008-01-30T20:06:00.000-08:00

today was awful,
another "why dont i run to Canada" days.
my dad is at a doctors appointment right now, im worried that everything is going okay. i have had a headache for two or so weeks now, and im starting to think somehting is wrong with my neck.
im considering coachella plans, nothing seems right.
im considering college plans, i still havent gotten a call back
im considering my new job, except no one has even called me yet.

i fell abandoned and lonely.
im sick of were i am, i want to go home.

i feel better now theres nothing wrong.

2008-01-29T15:11:00.000-08:00

Today was the first day of my last semester of high school. that feels awful nice. It was a late start today because of the snow, so we didn't go until 9:30. My classes were only 30 minutes long, and that in itself is a joke.
my new schedule;
1-Senior Experience
2-PhotoII
3-Health
4-Journalism
5-English
6-Government
Michael is in my health class, and this girl and this guy who i have seen around all year and look pretty cool are in my senior experience class, and invited me to be in their group today. I guess things are looking up. My goal is to stay focused and get a 4.0 for graduation. it shouldnt be too hard.
Im currently a neat freak.
im currently organizing everything in my life.
im currently searching for scholarships.
im currently looking for a job (still, ah hire me!)
im currently listening to radiohead.

thats all for now really. I feel good about myself somehow. like i have space and time and everything all figured out. life is looking up. i guess.
im so lonely lately. i have only gone out once in the last three weeks.
when ali took me to the movies and to lunch.
eli is nowhere to be found,
and i have no other friends.

more photographs

2008-01-28T23:02:00.001-08:00

all is violent, all is bright.

2008-01-28T20:33:00.000-08:00

my life in photographs. that's the new agenda.
thanks to you (amanda,) it is extremely possible.
all editing and rounding and making awesoming is credited to Ms. Marks.
love love love.

this is out the window at bubba gumps in lahaina. usually, the food is good. this time, it was alright. anyway, i was kind of afraid that i was going to drop my cell phone into the water. that boat out there is a cruise ship.

this dog lives next door. i hate it. i have lived here for a year and a half (maybe more.) but this dog acts like i am charles manson coming to steal it's food everytime i walk down my driveway. i don't understand.

this is a bunch of nails. i don't use nails. i don't own these nails and i didn't edit this picture. they are nice though.

about ten minutes ago, i went outside to photograph the sky because it was this violent orange color. i realized it was pooring rain and my skateboard (which i don't ever use) was sitting in the rain. it made me sad for a second. then i took this picture and i was happy.
all is violent, all is bright. the sky is a parking cone and it's approaching night.

my brother is visiting. he is very white. everyone from Alaska is very white. I have come to accept that a pair of sunglasses and a hat are two limbs that jake has that most people do not.
you will become the whale's tail. (tale) some guy was standing a little to the right behind this and he was painting something that looked exactly like it. commercial island art sucks.

snow day, my life feels very purple

2008-01-28T19:28:00.000-08:00

i woke up with a bloody nose and snow outside.
it was a strange day, i dont feel like reminising.
(not much of anything happened)
im here you're there.
i need some friends. i think that i need to get a job, and socialize with real people again. jesus. SOMEONE HIRE ME

Wishlist

2008-01-28T16:04:00.000-08:00

"i am not a paper cup"

-Moleskine 2008 Diary;
-A pair of flats.
-Darjeeling Limited DVD
-white Converse
-better pillows
-Full Size Mattress
-Frames for my photographs
-learning to love you more - Miranda July &Harrell Fletcher
-Helter Skelter - Vincent Bugliosi
-Zodiac - Robert Graysmith
-cute desk to share with joshua
-book shelves/shelves
-large dresser, for both wardrobes
- Blank CDs
- Rant - Chuck Palinuik
- Ipod Car adapter
-http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp;jsessionid=BF61A9275D3FA18DA043F708ABB14878.app13-node4?itemdescription=true&itemCount=10&id=14637607&parentid=&sortProperties=+product.marketingPriority,-product.startDate&navCount=1960&navAction=poppushpush&color=01

our relationship... as i see it.

2008-01-26T20:17:00.000-08:00

there is much more.

no name #1

2008-01-26T11:11:00.000-08:00

my life really needs to be reevaluated lately. its hard to remember what up is and what down is. I have felt the urge of giving up creeping upon me so many times lately with so many different situations, its just hard to breathe.
my mother is at an interview at Volkswagen right now, i tagged along to wish her luck and check out Everette finally. I adore Volkswagens, im so typical, but id love to own a jetta, or a golf. Uh! graduation present?! (in four years, when i finish at the art institute?!)
i want to take more pictures of my life, just typical photographs, of what my life looks like from time to time, i think josh has intentions of doing that as well.
ive applied at a million places and i think that star bucks will hire me. im going to call the manager there on monday or tuesday, see what he thought of my application. if not im going to start offering to baby sit, and dog sit, house sit maybe, odds and ends jobs. thats all i can think of really.

i want some new clothes,
i want tickets to coachella,
i need to calm down,
i need to work harder on my senior project.