today should be the last day of the month,
it is not

the many mes

first real day of work today.
wish me luck

(i wish i had a cape like devenda. oi vey, buy me clothes)

im in class at the moment. im at a loss of everything.
I feel like im loosing my mind, i feel like i have lost my drive.

http://www.kevinpcaseyphoto.com/
this man has agreed to let me do a job shadow with him.

http://www.wmanthony.com/
this man has gotten back to me and told me we can talk about photography any time, he didnt have any shoots this month, but im thinking maybe latter on i can perhaps convince him to let me work with him. I am hopping to creat an internet relationship with him, and interview him for my project.

i feel bad, everyone is into what they are doing, i feel like im scraping by. Im looking forward to a long plane ride full of fear to vist my joshua, im looking forward to large sunglasses and tanned sholders at the coachella festival. Im happy and excited but scared and i feel like everything is going too slow.

i got the job at bed bath and beyond, i dont know if i have said that, i dyed my hair orange and cut it all off, i got a hard drive, josh got my ticekts to maui, i need my ticets to arizona.

Stop breathin'
Stop breathin'
Breathin' for me now
Write it on a postcard
Dad, they broke me
Dad, they broke me

Fruit Punch

Today is Saturday, the twenty-third of February, 2008.
I work tomorrow. For a rug salesman again.
I have accomplished nothing today. But that's fine.

My room is very hot and I don't like it that way.
I think it's because of how small it is. I opened the window.
It did not help all that much, but at least I'm not cooking anymore.

There are crumbs on a plate next to me. I had a sandwich earlier.
It was a chicken sandwich. It has swiss cheese.
There was too much mayonnaise.

I can record with ease now. It's so sad that I haven't posted in so long.
I feel like I've maybe flown further away from here.
I mean, I am still physically in the same spot. But I feel gone.

I did a show on Terry Riley's "In C" finally. It was too short.
Justin and Bear got jumped by some crack heads. I walked home in the dark.
It was really scary but I got home and it was fine.

I am yawning so much. It's only 6:07. That's too early for yawning.
I really like South Park. I also really like playing guitar.
I also really like music and I kind of like Snapple.

Actually, I don't like it all that much. But I like it more than Green tea right now.
You said I must eat so many lemons.
I yawned again.

My room is clean and I need to do the laundry. Maybe I should um. I need
a steady job or something.

This post is falling apart.

I love you, Amanda.

SUNDAY

Justice - Phantom II



Metric - IOU


Metric - Monster Hospital


Shout out Louds - Please please please


Shout out louds - the comeback


Holy Fuck - Lovely Allen


Gogol Bordello - Start Wearing Purple


The Streets - Dry Your Eyes



Black Kids - I'm not going to teach you boyfriend how to dance



Murs - Yesterday & Today



Autolux - Turnstile Blues



Spiritualized - Anyway That You Want Me



Chromeo - Needy girl



The Field - good things end


LES SAVY FAV - Brace Yourself


cool kids - Black Mags


Man Man - 10 lb. Moustache


Im from Barcelona - We're from Barcelona



Manchester Orchestra - Wolves At Night


Austin TV - Tonight Tonight

Coachella

I want to take so many pictures this year. now that my digital camera is acctually decent. Megan gave the call today saying that she has the money in order. the only thing i need to do it get my plane ticket. UGHTNKLAF. coachella coachella coachella. its something to look forward to honestly it only gets better every year. Im also so excited to see my megan its been FAR too long. (joshua this is basicly my blog now?! why havent you updated!!!?)

i have the best boyfriend in the world, and i love my hair now.
everything is shaping up.
i hate that im not writing. any where. fdsalkfknmdlas
love love love love. you are who i am, i got two chairs for our desk today.
one for you and one for me,

LETS GO

today;
i got an official acceptance letter from the art institute of seattle
i chopped off all of my hair while listing to 'women as lovers,'
i think hermes is laying eggs, ?
i got the job at bed bath a beyond!

http://www.suntimes.com/business/786011,CST-NWS-pol10.article
AHH stock up on polaroid film for me?!!?


my first period teacher's boyfriend ripped/broke his achilles tendon.
it makes me ill.

you live too far north.

music to burn down a very tall building to.

aaron

january's playlist

one each month?

i dont know.

i think i have everything all figured out. really. its refreshing.
im all on the right track. Kimya Dawson playing tomorrow, if
eli decides to blow me off or conveniently forget i will be so very
displeased. but i plan on going, three o'clock.

p.s.

xiu xiu makes me crave what my life could be.
joshua i agree, i cant wait until life begins.

everyones a building burning with no one to put the fire out

self, hair dyed,

my bed room; feb. 2008

Hermies, my perfect pet snail

john and yoko. Leibovitz

Patti smith, Leibovitz

listening to radiohead and modest mouse,
sleeping in and skipping school,
researching annie lewbovitz and working on my senior project,
got phone call from the art institute again, telling me of my acceptance.

i bleached a part of my hair.
i still have no job, or money.

covers, pictures, love

grow up and blow away.

Saturday of Coachella

Animal Collective - Peacebone
(stop being such idiots, this album is good.
people that bitch about it 'not being as good as the first one' are just trying to be interesting, and make it sound like they know what they are talking about. they dont. same thing goes with radiohead, thank you.)



Rilo Kiley - More Adventurous




Death Cab For Cutie - Title & Registration



Cold War Kids - We Used to Vacatoion



MGMT - Time To Pretend



Devotcka - I cried like a silly boy


Stephen Malkmus - Heaven is a Truck



St. Vincent - These days



Islands - Rough Gem



The Teenagers - Homecoming



Hot Chip - Over and Over



Calvin Harris - Acceptable in the 80's



The bird and the Bee - again and again



kraftwerk- autobahn

i was studing some casiotone for the painfully alone articals to add a blrub to my story,
i found this, anf its cute. they call him lumpy!http://www.metroactive.com/papers/sfmetro/11.08.99/casiotone-9943.html

Take another picture with your click, click, click, click camera

Nan Goldin is my favorite, and I think I am crazy for that.

I slept all the way through the night again last night. It has been really wonderful for me lately. Im feeling greatly, i am in love with the best boy in the world. Im doing a project on Nan Goldin and aside from being unemployeed and broke everything is going the right way, and I am less stressed about things. I am getting a long in my senior project, I got accepted into the Art Instiuite, Im on the right track, honestly for everything. I should be seeing the love of my life in fifty days, and I got my Coachella Tickets. What more could there be?

Wednesday ; mom is home. No plans, apply online at QFC, Albertsons, Hollywood Video, Sam goody (online)

Thursday; mom home again, help her move some shit, dad home too. Work on Senior Project, make play list for saturdays coachella. (work on current photo project)

Friday;work more on photo project, work on senior project, do all homework.

Saturday;Apply in Mill Creek, Finish Photo project, Kimya Dawson

im in love with the world. i feel clean and inspiered.

Friday of coachella, Kimya Dawson, ACCEPTED

I GOT ACCEPTED INTO THE ART INSTITUTE
&&&&& IM GETTING MY COACHELLA TICKET WHEN MY DAD GETS HOME TONIGHT!!
TODAY = GOOD.

I'm going to see Kimya Dawson on Saturday (unless i'm called for an interview.)





my friday list!!! (bands i plan on seeing at coachella in order of importance)

Múm' - We Have a Map of the Piano



Stars - Your Ex Lover Is Dead



Vampire Weekend - Oxford Comma



Jens Lekman - You are the light



Architecture in Helsinki - Like a Call



Midnight Juggernauts - Road To Recovery


Rogue Wave - Lake Michigan



The National - Mistaken For Strangers



Dan Deacon - Crystal Cat



Cut Copy - Future



Swell Season - Falling Slowly


Does It Offend you Yeah? - Lets Make Out


Datarock - Fa Fa Fa



The Breeders - Cannonball



The Verve - Bitter Sweet Symphony



Porter - House Of A Ghost



dan le sac VS scroobius pip - Thou Shalt always Kill



Black Lips - Cold Hands



Modeselektor - Black Block



Reverend And The Makers - Heavyweight Champion of the World



Spank Rock - Bump



Busy P - Chop Suey

now.

the headache comes and goes with stress i have discovered.
theres this and theres that.

payless
starbucks

im going apply there tomorrow i guess.
life is stupid, redundant, and meaningless to me now.,
im sick of everything im doing being part of a bigger picture.
why am i not happy now?

photos from my papas 66th birthday

Dad, Aunt Brandy, Papa, Uncle Joe

josh moving in with me, relationship, mornings

i wake up so late on the weekends; i sleep and sleep and wake up with the sun hitting me. i hug the pillow, i grip the sheets, i am alone.
i drink coffee, and have a morning snack. "what do i have to do today? what do i have to accomplish? what time is it in maui? how much longer until josh is awake.?"
i think having a boy friend that lives in a different state is awful for so many reasons, but at my young vuneralbe age i also think its nice. having josh around for a month and then being seperated a month and a half is good for us. it makes us evaluate our realtionship, have our independence, show eachother how we care for eachother in less then obvious ways. you cant hug and kiss somenoe over the phone or interent, you have to express things so much deeper.
i think the distance is good for both of our education. josh not going to the same highschool as me creates no drama. had josh been going to the same school as me, things would be harder, people would say this or that, and we'd both be distracted by eachother.
i have something to look forward too, and something to set goals around because hes not so close, we have to work on the realtionship now, so when hes living with me things will seem so much easier.
im happy josh and i are going to live with my parents for a couple of years. it gives us a chance to get used to eachother, it gives us a chance to not be so concerned with money, and bills.
i have been looking at furniture we will need to share in our bedroom (my parents have agreed to rent a house with an apartment if they can, if not josh and i are going to share one bedroom). we need a full sized matress (i only have a twin). a headboard, bookselves and a desk. Ikea has the perfect desk for us. two people can fit on it, facing eachother. :)
doing this is making me happy. im currently thinkig of things i dont really need anymore so that the room wont just be my things.

friday.