modivational speaker?

today was a normal day in my ever so normal life. as a high school senior you'd think that by this time i have made the relationships to last me a life time, relationships that i will be disappointed to leave behind once my 'new life' starts. thats a joke. I probably couldnt connect with nearly all the people i come in contact daily if i even wanted to. what keeps me going? why am i even bothering? well you see because amazing motivational speakers like keith davis (NFL) come and speak at my school. honestly his talk today changed my life. (oh how i wish i was being serious right now. No. i wasnt inspired in fact, i felt like my ass would fall off after the whole thing was over and done with. everyone was stoked and he kept talking about foot ball and girls he knew that killed them selves after loosing their virginity. they only thing that got to me was when he said "if hes worth it, hes worth the wait". now i didnt take this to heart exactly the way he'd intended. but i did take it in. slightly. not in the way he indented though im sure.)

dream big blah blah blah. Push, blah blah blah, dont let anyone or anything hold you back or stop you from doing what it is you want to do. The same things we have been told all of our lives. whether from our parents (like myself). our friends (like myself). Our teachers (like myself) or people you meet randomly that may see your potential. by the time you are a senior you assume you know it all anyway. and you have heard it all. so what different does it make anyway?

honestly thought. no sarcasm. the assembly today made me happy to have what i have. both of my parents love me very much. they are still married, and still very much alive. both of my parents support me in my choices. from my wonderful boy friend josh who they have allowed to let live with them while he is going to college, to my choice of career, even though photography might be expensive and might be difficult to get my foot in the door, they are sure i can do it. Parents that offer to help me with finances still, even though im old enough to be shipped out, parents that moved me to the state i thought i would be happiest in. im also lucky to have joshua. he doenst pressure me into doing things i do not want to do. He doesnt make me feel like there is a list of things i need to do, or i need to be before he loves me. I am lucky that he understands me, and cares for me, and gives me so much of his time and his heart, though it isnt necessary to. Im lucky to have such a great best friend. Though we are both changing and rearranging our frames of mind so much, megan darling and i still talk more then occasionally. we still plan our lives out together and we still ask eachother and want to be involved in each others lives. and im blessed.

there are many things my life is lacking that most people have. a concrete sense of religion, scholarships a bank account there parents set out for them to go to school,perhaps they live in a better neighborhood then i do, or maybe their parents have more money then me. but i am really really lucky.
on a separate note im newly afraid of the dark. i intend on purchasing a nightlight today.